Sandy Hook, Ct, tragedy less due to pre-training of staff and children

Role playing, practice, and calmly discussing possible tragedies, even with young children, help when tragedy actually happens as it did today. The educators wisely practiced disaster training which saved many lives.

I remember during my elementary school years in the 60's of practicing "Duck & Cover," at least monthly. The teacher would announce it, and we would hide under our desks until the teacher said it was okay to come out. We knew the danger would be from nuclear fallout due to the Cold War with Russia. We didn't need to understand it. In actuality, "Duck & Cover" would not have saved us, but the more important issue was the feeling of empowerment we received by feeling we had some control over what to do when bad things happen.

Due to disaster in other schools, Sandy Hook schools, along with many others nationwide, have a disaster plan which gives children the power they need to feel they are helping while also knowing when it is time to obey the directions given by those in authority.

In 1989, I lived in Sioux City, Iowa, when Flight 232 crash landed at the local airport. Due to the magnificent skill of the pilot, only 111 died of the 296 passengers. A disaster drill was held previously due to the insistence of Gary Brown, the Woodbury County Disaster Services Director. The drill included members of the on site Air Guard, hospital on guard, plus fire departments from small towns. The day of the actual crash, we saw ambulances driving to the airport, and  hoped it was a drill. The practice and team work was fundamental in limiting the loss of life during that tragedy

Preparation is the key. A serious look at our mental health services and identifying potential problems may be a solution.

As a parent and grandparent, my heart goes out to all the families involved.

Tools to Build your Family

Recently, I posted my first video of my new video series, "Tools to Build your Family."

The first in the series is the key tool, "Be Consistent." Many of the moms and dads I've interviewed stated this was the wisdom they learned when their children were young.

I have so much to say! With all the research done in areas of behavior, time management, decision-making, etc. to help parents, it will be easy to make short videos of helpful advice.

The series will complement the 7 small books, only 59 pages each, I've written to reach today's parents and grandparents raising children.

So check it out, subscribe, sign on to Google to leave a comment. Let me know what you think. We all have wisdom to share to make parenting easier.

Today, I watched the television show CLEAN SWEEP. I had heard of the show but had yet to desire to see other peoples’ clutter and the problems accompanying it. The feature was the winner of the Messiest House contest in 2008. Unfortunately, I easily related to the three women living in the house, a mother and her two adult daughters.

Unwanted change can be difficult to accept. Clutter is created when we fill up our lives to replace something or someone. We replace our emptiness through shopping, furniture and other stuff. In one year’s time, my mother’s life underwent several changes:
• She lost her mother to cancer,
• her oldest daughter (my sister) moved from California to Germany (military husband) taking my mother’s only grandchild,
• my other sister, and only other sibling, married and moved hundreds of miles away, and
• I married and moved a couple miles away, same town.
By the end of that year, my parents’ three-bedroom house filled with furniture. You could barely walk around the rooms. Most of the furniture came from my grandmother’s home attached with sentimental value. It was many years before the furniture began to leave the house (to make room for visiting grandchildren).

A few months after my mother died, I moved to another town due to my husband’s job transfer. I welcomed the excuse to remove myself from the memories of a lifetime. Until then, I had always lived in the same town as my parents. The move provided a great opportunity/excuse for my husband and I to declutter. We had previously maintained a home for our blended family of five children. A few times a year we might have all five, plus a daughter-in-law and grandchild. By the time we moved, we only had one permanent, half-a-week child living with us (shared custody). I maintained supplies for bedding for the possible blizzard that would find us all housebound (never happened, although the blizzards did). Donating the bedding to the Goodwill pulled at my heart, but I followed through.

I’m still a packrat when it comes to my office and all the print outs of Internet research to help me with my books. I can’t just keep the files on the computer because computers crash and are unreliable. Paper is forever. That’s what my husband fears.

Family & Medical Leave Act not so great for new dads

In 1993, the U.S. Congress passed the Family and Medical Leave Act. It allows workers to take time off work to care for family members or themselves. They get their job back when they return. Sometimes pay is received during the time off, sometimes not. It is wonderful for an adult child who has to tend to an ill elderly parent. Great for a spouse to care for a sick spouse. New baby? Great for mom but not so great for dad.

Sure, the first week is helpful for the new mom and to bond with the baby. After that, it becomes a drain and all the dad can think about is when he can escape to his job. Jobs are mostly reliable as to what is expected of you for the day. You don't have to listen to crying babies all day and all night. Your time is your own, not controlled by a little tiny being that needs to be held, soothed, fed, burped and cleaned up.

With a new baby in the house, you can always recognize the worker who is a new dad or mom by that exhausted look on their faces as they muddle about doing their job. Most employers accept this. After about 3 months the baby should be sleeping through the night and mom and dad will return to their normal selves.

Consider this if you are going to be a new dad: How much time do you really want to take off work? Can you handle chaos from an 8 pound version of you? Will the noise drive you up the wall seeking normalcy? I'm not being chauvinistic when I say moms are more nurturing and can usually handle it better, realizing there is a wonderful rainbow at the end of the first few weeks.

For my book series, Single Parent Wisdom, I asked over 50 single parents with children now grown to reflect on what worked and what didn't while raising their children. Compiling their answers and adding mine, I found 7 areas of advice recurring from their answers:

1. Be Consistent.
2. Be Patient & Loving.
3. Time is Short.
4. Be Age-Appropriate.
5. Reduce the Chaos.
6. Be a Role Model.
7. Live in the Present.
   

I list these at the beginning of each of the 16 books, starting with "25 Ways to Encourage Good Behavior."