Fight bullies with your own sense of dignity

Bullies, especially cyber bullies, continue to make the national news. I still remember the hurt I felt when an elementary school classmate yelled, "Your mama wears Army boots." I had no idea what it even meant but it caused me to run home crying. At home, my mother was sitting on the couch with her girlfriend. I told them what the boy had said. Their comment: The Army was a noble profession but I wasn't in the Army." Their lack of reaction taught me to ignore such silly statements in the future. I also avoided that boy. Here is my advice and wisdom for parents today:

REACT to the existence of bullies in your child's life.

Remind your child that he is sincerely loved by you. He is important in your life.

Encourage and help your child find a friend. Just one good friend can be enough to ward off evil affects of bullies.

Arm your child by role-playing simple comments to stop or respond to bullies. Comments ,"Why would you say (or do) something so mean?" "That's rude of you." "Why would you ask such a question?" "That's a nasty thing to say." "Spreading vicious lies is cause for a lawsuit in the courts." And the ultimate physical reaction, "Pffff!" and walk away. You may hear laughter, but remember the low self esteem of the bully's followers. You don't want these people as your friends and shouldn't care what they think.

Cope with the disappointments in your own life and show your child how to cope with his. Give him the power to resolve bad stress, make positive decisions, and choose a path that benefits him and his future. Life gets better after the school years.

Teach your child to establish his sense of dignity. Bullies lack their own self worth and are willed powerless by someone who possesses such strength.

There will always be bullies, even in the adult workplace. How we react to them can show our own personal strength and the bully's lack of it.

Today, I watched the television show CLEAN SWEEP. I had heard of the show but had yet to desire to see other peoples’ clutter and the problems accompanying it. The feature was the winner of the Messiest House contest in 2008. Unfortunately, I easily related to the three women living in the house, a mother and her two adult daughters.

Unwanted change can be difficult to accept. Clutter is created when we fill up our lives to replace something or someone. We replace our emptiness through shopping, furniture and other stuff. In one year’s time, my mother’s life underwent several changes:
• She lost her mother to cancer,
• her oldest daughter (my sister) moved from California to Germany (military husband) taking my mother’s only grandchild,
• my other sister, and only other sibling, married and moved hundreds of miles away, and
• I married and moved a couple miles away, same town.
By the end of that year, my parents’ three-bedroom house filled with furniture. You could barely walk around the rooms. Most of the furniture came from my grandmother’s home attached with sentimental value. It was many years before the furniture began to leave the house (to make room for visiting grandchildren).

A few months after my mother died, I moved to another town due to my husband’s job transfer. I welcomed the excuse to remove myself from the memories of a lifetime. Until then, I had always lived in the same town as my parents. The move provided a great opportunity/excuse for my husband and I to declutter. We had previously maintained a home for our blended family of five children. A few times a year we might have all five, plus a daughter-in-law and grandchild. By the time we moved, we only had one permanent, half-a-week child living with us (shared custody). I maintained supplies for bedding for the possible blizzard that would find us all housebound (never happened, although the blizzards did). Donating the bedding to the Goodwill pulled at my heart, but I followed through.

I’m still a packrat when it comes to my office and all the print outs of Internet research to help me with my books. I can’t just keep the files on the computer because computers crash and are unreliable. Paper is forever. That’s what my husband fears.

Women step up to fix problems in government

It is natural for us to clean up after others make a terrible mess. We cannot sit on the political sidelines and watch any longer. It is time to take action. No matter what you think of Sarah Palin, she is empowering women to take charge of our current state of affairs. While other countries have or had women leaders, such as Great Britain, Germany, Pakistan and India to name a few, the United States is behind in the count of women in charge. Tuesday’s state primaries showed a change in women willing to fight the battle. November elections will be interesting to watch. Be sure to vote!

Iowa -- Democrat Roxanne Conlin will challenge five-term Republican Sen. Charles Grassley come November.

California – Republican and new to the race Meg Whitman will face former liberal governor Jerry Brown for the governorship. Newcomer Republican Carly Fiorina will challenge Democratic sitting senator Barbara Boxer.

Nevada – Republican Sharron Angle will fight Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in November.

Arkansas – Sitting Sen. Blanche Lincoln of Arkansas has kept her seat to fight in November.

Maine -- Senate President Libby Mitchell will challenge for governor.

South Carolina – Republican state lawmaker Nikki Haley is in a run-off for governor.

WISDOM – At singleparentwisdom.com we offer books of parenting wisdom. Others are choosing the wisdom factor to select who will fix our government’s problems. In Iowa, former 4-term governor Terry Branstad won his primary to challenge sitting governor Chet Culver. California’s former governor Jerry Brown is running for governor, again. There comes a time when we must realize wisdom is worthy.

Sexting -- You've got to be kidding!

I just sent my next book, BE A ROLE MODEL, SHARE YOUR VALUES to the printer. You can get the idea of what it is about. The same day I wrapped it up (e-mailed the PDF to the printer), I read about SEXTING. I realize I'm a little behind the times, but really. Yuck! Girls, and probably boys, too, are sending pictures of themselves in provocative poses, or all out nude by cell phone to their friends. How stupid is this!

Even if they sent it to one friend, the capabilities, as they are, do not limit how many people see these all-bare photos. Or the age, or perversion. What a heyday for pedophiles! And the ages of these kids showing it all are reported as young as middle schoolers. Is your 12-year-old sexting? Are her friends? Grab her cell phone and look. What photos did she post on Facebook, or whatever the latest craze today? What are they thinking? What if someone finds out who they are and where they live?

I used to worry about obscene phone callers. Remember those? I knew how to hang up immediately, but as a single parent I feared they knew where I lived and were watching me. Talk to your child about modesty. It seems to be a lost art.