As a small child, we struggle to push the square block into the round hole. Then, our parent hands us two more blocks, a round one and a triangle one. Eventually, after several attempts with our chubby little hands, much huffing and breath holding, we succeed. A look up at mom or dad tells us we did well. The tall people squeal and clap their hands at our accomplishment.
That day was the first step on our path to make our own decisions and solve problems set before us. Sometimes a tall person is around to applaud, but mostly we need to find the self satisfaction of fitting the right peg into the right spot. Good or bad consequences replace mom or dad telling us we made the right choice.
Years ago, the tall people established January 1st as the day to start anew. It is time to make a list of all that we want to accomplish throughout the coming year. Today, our choices are significantly more difficult than square, round or triangle. As it was when we first toddled to the toy of our desires, we aim for what will please us and others in our life. Fortunately, we have achieved the ability to work harder and longer to achieve our goals instead of dropping the Jack-in-the-Box because we spotted a stuffed panda.
Even with the wisdom we have gained since those toddler years, decision making and problem solving still mystifies us. Consequences turn up at the result of every decision. Sometimes, a good consequence happens, such as a peck on the cheek from my spouse for making his favorite meal. When a poor decision is made, we are reminded by the person who now hates us, or the overdue notice received in the mail.
When I was a single parent, there were so many decisions to make and no one to bounce ideas off. Your family and friends tire of hearing about your problems, plus they don’t have the personal attachment or perspective to help you solve the problem. I was easily overwhelmed, many times to tears.
My memories of those earlier years compelled me to help other young parents with tips I have gathered. Over 50 other men and women who had also been solo parents joined me to offer their ideas. Our book, PARENTS! TIPS TO MAKE DECISIONS, SOLVE PROBLEMS, (Wynot Publications, 2012) will be in print mid-January. Topics include awareness of the Decision Stoppers in your life of soft addictions, stress, procrastination and others. Pointers are included on how to work with your child to solve problems between the two of you, plus tips to teach him how to find solutions for his own problems.
From my research, I found few books on decision making for parents. Instruction exists for business leaders, but not the intricacies of parenting. With several pre-orders flowing in, the need for this type of book is evident. Soon, the e-book will be available in several formats from Smashwords.com.
This is the seventh book in the series, SINGLE PARENT WISDOM: IF ONLY I KNEW THEN, WHAT I KNOW NOW.... Other books cover topics of behavior, communication, family life, values, and nurturing yourself. Books are available at many bookstores and online retail sites. Check out the SPW website at singleparentwisdom.com and Amazon.com for your copy.
Monday, December 26, 2011
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