Vacations are scary

Blogging to you from the Iowa Great Lakes -- Okoboji. Enjoying sun, sailing, swimming, dining out, and togetherness. Today, we awoke to a crying toddler whose family moved in to the next room some time during the night. The child’s tears reminded me how scary a vacation can be. Parents plan for a trip to be relaxing and fun. They look forward to the excitement of a new place, new stuff to do, and a break from the old stuff they usually do.

Small children, and especially babies, thrive on consistency. It gives them security. They sleep in the same bed in the same room. Every morning they wake and go through the same routine. Life is great.

Suddenly, and with no warning, they wake in a strange bed that isn’t even placed in the same direction as their bed at home. Mom and Dad are sleeping in a big bed in the child’s room! And even stranger, some of the child’s toys are in the room. His toys belong back home.

As good parents, before the trip you explained to your child the changes to expect. You would all be sleeping in the same room. What fun! Some of his toys get to go on vacation, too. He can pick out his favorites to take. And, especially books to continue the bedtime routine. Explain that on this vacation you will see new places, play new games and eat at new places.

Then the child wakes up after a long sleep and the world is completely different. All that talk before the trip is forgotten. He cries. Patiently, remind the child the family is on vacation and the changes that happen. Losing your temper and yelling, “Knock it off,” is not helpful. (Words we heard through the walls of our room at the Inn.) Yes, the child quieted down because he could see Mom was mad, but not for long. Reassure your child that you understand his fears. Everything is different. Briefly, review the steps of how you came to the place. Talk about the fun things you will do today. Mom and Dad will be with him all day. Patience.

Spend a few minutes with your child addressing his fears so he will know it is okay to be afraid and you understand. Even a small child needs to feel respected for his thoughts. Patience with lots of hugs and less yelling will help you have a fun vacation, too.

And don't worry so much about the people in the next room, but please remind your toddler to use his inside voice. Thanks.