I cringe when I hear someone say, “I deserve it.” Now, the
marketing industry via advertising is capitalizing on the entitlement generation’s
belief that they deserve whatever they want. “You deserve this new phone” they
tout. Websites agree you deserve it at www.youdeserveacar.com and www.ideserveacar.com. But do you really?
I deserve this doughnut – because I’m tired and hungry. Even
though, I love how doughnuts are so easy to eat and take away that empty
feeling, I never deserve one, or two. My diabetic nutritionist reminds me of
that fact.
I deserve a smart phone with all the perks. That would be
great, but I can’t justify the expense. I feel lucky to have texting ability so
I can chat with my grandchildren. My attempts to encourage the ancient ritual
of letter writing sent through the mail has failed. They are missing the
anticipation of waiting for a letter, followed by the excitement of opening one.
So much better than the ping announcing a new text.
I deserve to be happy. That’s the explanation a 19-year-old
mother of two gave for why she abandoned her young children to move to a
different country with her new husband (he doesn’t like children). Having your first baby at age 15, followed by
another at age 18, does put a weight on happiness, if you think happiness is freedom. Parenting is demanding at any age, especially if you have
not surrounded yourself with supportive friends and family. Many agencies exist
to help such a parent. She did not do the work of locating and accepting such
help. It was easier to leave. Unfortunately, her 18-month-old never understood
why mommy left him. He has physical and mental health problems. Some of those
could be connected to the lack of prenatal care the mother implemented while
pregnant. That too was available to her – free of charge.
We could put the blame on the school system for not teaching
history correctly. In the United States, our forefathers, actually Thomas
Jefferson, wrote the U.S. Declaration of Independence and included a line about
the pursuit of happiness. A quick reference to Wikipedia lists the particular
quote as, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created
equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,
that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Translate
that to today’s terms, you have the right to pursue a happy life. You don’t deserve
it. There is some work involved. Get a job. Take the responsibility of children
you create by providing them a safe home, food, clothing and an education.
What do you deserve? You deserve it to yourself to get your
act together. Work on that. Visit your local library. Read books on how to achieve better
personal health, then read some about general psychology. You have the ability
to live a better, happier life. You just have to put in the time to achieve it.
No one can hand it to you. Happiness will come when you feel secure about your
place in life.
